Category Archives: Stories

Elmer’s Big Escape

Considering how much everyone enjoyed the last Bedtime Story I shared with you, I thought you might like this. It’s a shorter tale that my mom used to tell me during those days when she would rather be watching Quincy than tucking me into bed. It’s been a while, but I think it went something […]

The Story of John

CHAPTER 1: The Beginning John was born on a hot winter’s day in the middle of a Wal-Mart parking lot. His mother, Anne, was so busy loading her bargains into her car that she didn’t even notice when she gave birth. In fact, had a passing motorist not yelled “Hey, you stupid bitch, you just […]

The Case of The Black Leather Handbag

Needless to say, the case of the Long-Distance Jumper didn’t go so well. About twenty minutes into my investigation that night, a real detective showed up and confiscated all of the cool things I had managed to put into little plastic bags. He then proceeded to lecture me on the consequences of destroying evidence and […]

Keen Observation

I found her corpse sprawled out on the sidewalk: a jumper, they said. Of course, I didn’t believe them. Sure, all the signs were there: the position of the body, the giant pool of blood, the shattered bones. But still, something wasn’t right. Me? My name is Richard Keen, Private Investigator/Disc Jockey Extraordinaire, available for […]

A New Bedtime Story

Since y’all liked my last bedtime story so much, I thought I’d go on ahead ‘n share with ya a new’un. This’n was done told to me by my ma, back when we was livin’ up in the Ozarks and I was, I reckon, no more than a pea. Hope y’all like it. It go […]

Diary Of An Invisible Man

Day 1: Holy fucking shit! I’m fucking invisible! I can’t believe it really worked! Look at me! Oh wait, that’s right. You can’t! Hahahahahaha! Fuck you! Fuck you all! I’m fucking invisible! YEAH! Day 2: Woke up this morning in the lab: still invisible. That must have been some potent shit I cooked up. Better […]

Two Stars Too Many: Part Two

When we last left our hero, he was riding a man-beast towards the entrance of a swanky hotel/resort. And if you have no idea what the fuck I’m talking about, stop what you’re doing and scroll down and read Part One first. And so, without further delay, I bring you Part Two: So there I […]

Two Stars Too Many: Part One

When I heard the hotel I’d be staying at was given a seven-star rating by the AAA Travel Guide, I knew I was in for quite an experience. After all, the AAA star-rating system only goes up to five stars. Which led me to the question, just what was it about this hotel that made […]

Bedtime Story

I thought I’d take a break from my usual true-to-life accounts to share with you a little fable my mother used to tell me after she tucked me into bed. This is exactly how I remember it: A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away, a great adventure took place . . . […]

An Inspiring Story

Sometimes, I get to a point in my life where nothing seems to be going right. That’s when I close my eyes and think about Richard Legman, the man who could not walk. Once you get past the irony of Mr. Legman’s problem, there’s really nothing funny about it. But, man, that is pretty funny, […]