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August-13-09

At a loss for words

posted by Smivey

Just last week, my stalker and I were at the Beverly Center, attempting to look like we could afford things there. On our way down the escalators, I noticed two teenagers in front of us wearing Ed Hardy clothing from head to toe (they even had on Ed Hardy tennis shoes). “Look,” I whispered to my stalker, “douche bags in training.” We chuckled to ourselves and then I noticed a much younger girl in front of them who was probably the sister or something. She, too, was wearing Ed Hardy clothing—which got us to wondering: What’s the female equivalent of a douche bag? My stalker suggested “douche purse,” but that doesn’t make any sense at all. And so I open the question to my readers. What is the female equivalent of a douche bag? Anyone?

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Comments (7)
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  1. Jamie Said,

    A search on Google tells me it’s ‘douchebaguette’ which sounds like some kind of bread.

    I get 18,300 results searching ‘female equivalant of douchebag’, so it seems to be a question that’s plagued many. :3

  2. Pip Said,

    Well, assuming that the pattern here is “a means of cleansing the opposite gender’s genitalia,” I suppose a female douche bag would be called a “washcloth.”

    But you’ll have to REALLY say it with feeling.

  3. Smivey Said,

    Hmmm washcloth sound almost too positive. What about wash rag? Or just rag? Eh. Maybe not.

  4. Lani Said,

    To me, the equivalent of a “douchebag” is a “Dumbass.”

  5. laughing Said,

    I don’t know but I once heard a joke that went like this…

    Question “How do you brain wash a woman?”

    Answer “Jump on her douch bag”

  6. loveandhatela Said,

    Its funny when you see teenagers, but its just plain sad when you see middle age men wearing the stuff…talk about mid life crisis.

    Equivalent of Douche bag?

    How about:

    vagina
    bitch
    skank
    hoe
    smelly whore
    or my favorite:
    used tampon

    as in “that chick is such a UT….used tampon” :)

  7. Julie Said,

    LOL! DOUCHE PURSE sounds awesome to me!!! Or, douche satchel. Google it if you don’t know what a satchel is :)

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