First of all, I want to make something clear. I don’t believe that someone should use their blog to plug products or services. That said, sometimes you just have to break the rules. Especially when it’s for something you really believe in.
About a week ago, my left thumb started to hurt. Every hour or so, the pain would transfer to my right thumb. This went on throughout the day until the pain became so unbearable, I had to see someone about it.
So I went to my doctor and described what I had been experiencing. He took some x-rays, around a gallon of blood and then ran through the test results with me. It turns out, I have a rare affliction called vinger pijn. But I was told not worry. There’s a drug available for it and it should clear up in a matter of days.
Well, I’m happy to report that my doctor was right. This is the most amazing drug ever. Not only has my thumb pain gone away completely, my skin looks younger and my eyesight seems to have improved. All with one amazing drug called Placebo.
I simply take one tablet in the morning and another before bedtime. It doesn’t upset my stomach and I can feel it working almost immediately. Oh, and you know how most drugs have all those warnings on their labels? This one doesn’t say shit. I can drive, operate heavy machinery, even juggle knives. It doesn’t matter when you’re taking Placebo.
In fact, one time, I couldn’t find anything to take my tablet with, so I just put the pill in my mouth and swallowed it down. It almost tasted like candy! Seriously. I wish I hadn’t done that though, because now I want to pour the entire bottle in my mouth, which could be very dangerous.
Hang on a sec. I just noticed something. The label says, “Take one tablet at breakfast and one before bed, or as needed.” Sweet. Now I know what it’s like to be a drug addict. Thank you, Placebo!
I’m sorry to be the one to tell you this, but Placebo is actually a combination of sugar and heroin.
Seriously? Damn, I am screwed.
You should also try something called Sugar Pill. That shit is amazing!
smiv, you idiot! you coulda just had a few cokes with the same results.
Don’t knock it, guys – Placebo cured my oral gonorrhea.
I wonder if it would work for “restless leg syndrome”?
You are a genius… I would like another story please.
Oops… above comment was for the other story.
Thank you. I would like to write another story.
:) remember…It was a dark and stormy night….
please…
Yeah, yeah. I’m working on it. It’s not going so well. Why do I suddenly feel like Mozart. Is your last name Salieri, by any chance?
Inspiration by any other name… or is it motivation…or competition? Wait I don’t write, I just crack that whip.
And just to prove that point – I meant “write”…
To show there are no hard feelings, I even fixed your typo.
You are a true gentlman.
Yes, if only I could be a writer.
Wow, I’m not doing too well with spelling tonight. “gentleman”
You are better than a writer… you are a funny writer.
Okay that last comment seemed tacked on. Ignore it.
I will do you one better: I will ignore both comments.
Need help with the story?
I might just trash it and start over. It’s not working out.
eail it to me. I’d like to read it anyway.
I bet you would. It’s gone. I deleted it. No one will ever see it. No, I kid. I’ll get it done. Nobody reads my unfinished stories.
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