Baby, I know our relationship couldn’t be better right now, but it’s not like I haven’t been trying. A little less communication would help. I mean, when I write to you, you don’t have to write back straight away. I can wait a few hours. Or even days. Hell, you don’t have to write back at all. Work with me here. I’m doing all I can to make things worse.
I was thinking, maybe you could hang up on me the next time I call you. No warning. Just slam down the receiver and don’t pick it up again. Do people still slam down the receiver? I guess you just push a button now. Anyhow, you know what I mean. That might make me wonder where we stand. Anything would be better than this constant state of fucking joy. Fuck that.
Also, the warm hugs are kind of messing with my mind. It’s like you like me or something. Yeah, right. If possible, could you maybe give me the cold shoulder the next time we see each other? It would make me feel like shit, and you know how much I love feeling like shit.
Look, all I’m trying to say is, things are great, but they don’t have to be. Maybe if you played some mind games with me every once in a while, or had an affair with my best friend, we wouldn’t be where we are today: on a one-way trip to Happy Land. Bleh.
Anyhow, I’m not expecting you to do everything I’ve suggested. Just take my thoughts into consideration. Or don’t. That would really piss me off.
Sincerely,
Smivey
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