I don’t own a home or have a dual income, but somehow I’ve still managed to get on this “upscale” mailing list. Which basically means every month, I receive catalogs from certain luxury brands (Sharper Image, Hammacher Schlemmer and Frontgate) trying to sell me all their latest overpriced junk:
A nostalgic looking bike with a hidden motor.
An electronic dog translator.
A fourteen-foot inflatable snowman.
A banquet table for your pets.
A life-size model of Batman.
Now, come on. Why the hell would anybody want this stuff? Can’t you find something better to spend your hard earned cash on? I admit, I’ve been known to spend a lot of money on certain luxury items. But I always keep one thing in mind when I’m shopping: Shit is shit, no matter what it costs. Expensive Crap sucks.
Update: Obviously, those links don’t work anymore. Uh huh.
I kid you not – Last night my step-grandfather showed up his new (and overpriced) pants stretched. It looked like Inspector Gadget’s arm. Worse than overpriced junk is the fools who buy the junk.
revise: showed us his new pants stretcher.
I promise to read before I send next time.
Glad you revised. I was scratching my head on that one. You are forgiven.
Some of the super cheapola crap is fun too. Like the Harriet Carter catalogue. Man, is that stuff tacky. But funny to look at, and funnier still to imagine people actually needing a burping toilet lid, or inflatable leg massagers, or anything that includes all three of the following: felt and crochet and adhesive, all in one gadget.
We used to get those cheapo catalogs when I was a kid. Loved them. I bought a lot of cheap crap.
Sharper Image selling shit nobody in their right mind could ever possibly need? The hell you say! Heh.
Is Harriet Carter the catalogue that has that goofy Homer Simpsonesque middle aged guy modelling t-shirts that say things like “My Belly Sticks Out More Than My Dickie Do!”
I get that Heartland catalogue delivered at least three times a month. You can almost hear some ignorant rural voice going “A combination non-name-brand DVD player, brandy distiller & humidor with ducks engraved on it for $199.95? Gawrsh!” while flipping through it.
And I’m sorry, but anybody that would plunk down 5 g’s for a life-sized Batman model, that’s the sign of an asshole right there. I’ve bought 3 or 4 used cars that combined cost less than that.
I was able to locate the dear Miss Carter at her aptly-named Web site (www.harrietcarter.com). Haven’t been able to get through the entire site yet. I may end up cracking a rib. Too funny.
Yay!, they *are* the folks who sell all the t-shirts with kooky sayings on ‘em!
Gobbless you Mr. Smivey sir!
Looks like they changed goofy middle-aged model guys on us, though.
Lawyers & medical professionals may call that job the Widowmaker.
Yet Harriet herself looks as if she stopped aging sometime in the 1980s.
Creepy.
A whoopie cusion costume!
Now that is true style.
I’m torn between the Whoopie Cushion costume or the His & Her Electric Plug and Socket costumes. Of course, I’d have to find a “her” to wear the other one.
you should spend some time on airplanes digging through the skymall.
overpriced shit you don’t need and shouldn’t want.
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