She seemed to appear out of nowhere, a mysterious figure in the night. A moment ago, I didn’t know she existed. But now, there she was before me. I had to get her attention. My mind began to race:

Should I flash her? Might she acknowledge me then? Would she appreciate what she sees? Would she thank me forever?

Perhaps. But there was a better solution, one that would leave no doubt in her mind of what I longed for. I approached her cautiously, and once I was near, I turned towards her, took a deep breath and shouted my wants and desires:

“Turn on your headlights, you fucking idiot!”

And with that, I sped off, leaving her in the dark. But only for a moment. Within seconds, her headlamps came to life and her car horn blared. I glanced in my rearview mirror to find her waving at me. Ah, a gesture of good will. She had recognized her absent-mindedness and wanted to thank me. . . No, upon further inspection I realized the hand she was waving had only one finger extended—and it was not her thumb. Alas, my assistance was not met with the gratitude it deserved. What a bitch.