A Lady In The Dark

She seemed to appear out of nowhere, a mysterious figure in the night. A moment ago, I didn’t know she existed. But now, there she was before me. I had to get her attention. My mind began to race:

Should I flash her? Might she acknowledge me then? Would she appreciate what she sees? Would she thank me forever?

Perhaps. But there was a better solution, one that would leave no doubt in her mind of what I longed for. I approached her cautiously, and once I was near, I turned towards her, took a deep breath and shouted my wants and desires:

“Turn on your headlights, you fucking idiot!”

And with that, I sped off, leaving her in the dark. But only for a moment. Within seconds, her headlamps came to life and her car horn blared. I glanced in my rearview mirror to find her waving at me. Ah, a gesture of good will. She had recognized her absent-mindedness and wanted to thank me. . . No, upon further inspection I realized the hand she was waving had only one finger extended—and it was not her thumb. Alas, my assistance was not met with the gratitude it deserved. What a bitch.

Comments 11

  1. Trojan wrote:

    Holy crap, that was a good laugh.

    Posted 10 Jan 2006 at 6:35 pm
  2. Witzgeek wrote:

    I just hit people with my car that have their headlights off….”Sorry, didn’t see ya there”

    Posted 10 Jan 2006 at 6:44 pm
  3. Lani wrote:

    I like to flip people the bird when they have their lights on. I’m backwards.

    Posted 10 Jan 2006 at 6:54 pm
  4. JeN wrote:

    Hit her.
    25 points.

    ha ha ha (kidding)

    Posted 10 Jan 2006 at 9:40 pm
  5. bob wrote:

    maybe she didn’t need her headlights turned on.

    Posted 14 Jan 2006 at 5:04 am
  6. C.S.D. wrote:

    You know, I only flipped you off cos I wanted to get your attention so you could give me the OTHER flash. Pffft.

    Posted 24 Nov 2006 at 5:47 am
  7. Smivey wrote:

    Well, I tried, but I almost ran my car off the road when I was trying to stand up.

    Posted 24 Nov 2006 at 7:57 am
  8. Norton wrote:

    Really funny, Smivey.

    Posted 25 Sep 2007 at 6:07 pm
  9. Smivey wrote:

    Yes, I am amusing. At least I have that.

    Posted 25 Sep 2007 at 7:11 pm
  10. Norton wrote:

    Oh, you have more than that. mmm…like an orchid plant.

    Posted 25 Sep 2007 at 7:28 pm
  11. Smivey wrote:

    The orchid is dead. It is an ex-orchid.

    Posted 25 Sep 2007 at 7:31 pm

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