Hey, are you sick of seeing things for what they are? Or maybe you’re just tired of everyone asking you to read road signs for them. Well, say goodbye to perfect vision and say hello to fucked-up eyes! Yes, with this amazing breakthrough surgery, you can go from 20/20 to 60/40. In a matter of hours! Imagine waking up to a dream world where a pile of clothes becomes a magic mountain polka-dotted with gum drops, a chair becomes a throne, and a lamp becomes a blurry lamp. It could all be yours. It’s a simple outpatient procedure that you’re too stupid to understand, so we’re not going to waste our time explaining it to you. But if you’re interested, give us a call. If not, don’t be such an asshole.
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