Perhaps if you’ve been reading my blog for quite some time, you might think to yourself, “Hey, that guy must be one fascinating person.” But the truth is, I’m not.
I’m just an average guy who lives in an average one-bedroom condo. I eat a fairly normal diet and watch TV like everybody else. At night, I brush my teeth, like we all do, then spill my blood at the altar of Zolox and praise his name. I pin a Ziploc bag filled with live insects to the worship board, then dress my wound with a mixture of crushed bananas and baking soda. This, of course, is followed by your average naked dance for prosperity and the traditional “waiting for the mongoose to pee” ceremony. Then I slip on my sweat pants and slide into bed.
Anyhow, that’s my life. I’m sorry it’s not the freak show you expected. But I thought it was time you knew the truth.
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