Well, I’ll be closing escrow in about a week, and now I’m starting to wonder why. I mean, sure I hate the heat and the traffic up here. But Hollywood does have its redeeming qualities.
Why, just last week, I was driving down Highland, passing by the famous Hollywood Bowl, and I thought to myself, “Self, that’s an impressive concert venue. Why don’t you ever go there?” And I really didn’t have an answer. I live so close to it, i could walk there. Maybe it has something to do with my extreme anxiety of going out with anyone to anywhere. But I’m not sure.
Then I crossed Wilshire and drove by all these classic homes with beautifully manicured lawns and nicely trimmed rose bushes. And I thought, wouldn’t it be wonderful to live here. That’s when I noticed an older man standing on the sidewalk, admiring one of the home’s nicely trimmed hedges. He apparently shared my admiration for the finer things.Then I looked a little closer and noticed a stream of yellow liquid spouting forth from that old man’s crotch. And as the excess fluid ran down the sidewalk and off into the gutter, it all started to come back to me.
The city of Hollywood is a lot like its films. At first, you see this amazing place with beautiful homes and dark green grass. And then you look a little closer and you notice that the homes are made of plywood and the grass has been spray painted. And some homeless guy is relieving himself in the driveway.
Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have some packing to do.
2 Comments