You know what I love are those really good reality shows. I’m not talking Survivor or Joe Millionaire. I mean the really good ones. Like Queer Eye For The Straight Guy, where they drive up and surprise someone at their home. I’m always amazed how the person in the house never notices all the commotion going on outside their front door. All the lights. The craft services. The big trailers. The makeup person. The director. You’d think maybe one of the neighbors would call to make sure everything is okay, or to find out what the fuck is going on. Apparently not.

But what’s truly amazing isn’t how surprised the people are to find this crew outside their door. It’s how they just so happen to have a crew of their own inside their house to shoot them answering the door for the “very first time.” I mean, what are the chances? Does everyone have a crew in their house waiting for such a moment? Talk about lucky. I guess it pays to have your own televison crew, just in case such a moment arises. But what about all those times when it doesn’t?

That seems like a lot of mouths to feed. I guess you could just serve them pasta. But they’d probably want a green salad with it and some crusty bread. Come to think of it, a lot of those Hollywood types are into that low-carb bullshit. So the pasta would have to be made from rice or something like that, which isn’t cheap. And where would they all sleep? I guess they could camp in the backyard. Maybe take over the den. It just seems like it would be a pain in the ass to have your own crew around just in case someone tries to surprise you at the door. Then again, they do serve a double duty: Someone has to film you driving off in the SUV with those crazy homosexuals.