It’s not like I expected it to happen this way. There I was, hanging out at my friend’s place. I was 15 and he was 14. His parents were still at work, so we had the whole place to ourselves.
Anyhow, I guess we got bored, because we started playing with stuff that we found sitting around. One of our favorite objects of distraction: a hook with a suction cup on the end of it. Being the adventurous boys that we were, we stuck that hook to everything we could find: the wall, the TV screen, the table. Then my friend did something really funny: he stuck it to his forehead. Of course, I had to give it a try. I discovered that if I lifted my eyebrows, the suction would be lost and the hook would fall off, but if I didn’t move my brow, the cup would remain in place. I actually got pretty good at keeping it on.
Anyhow, we were watching TV for a while and I turned to my friend to tell him something and he laughed. The suction cup was still on my forehead. Well, you can imagine my embarrassment. I quickly popped it off and tossed it onto the coffee table. But my friend kept laughing. When I turned to tell him to shut up, he laughed even harder. I asked him what was so funny and he told me to go look in the mirror.
Well, if you haven’t figured it out by now, I had a pretty big hickey right in the middle of my forehead. Yes, my first hickey, and it was self-inflicted. And it was on my goddamn forehead! Fortunately, it was the early 80s and my hair was pretty long back then. I just brushed my hair forward and used a little acne cream to cover it up while it healed.
I don’t regret anything I did that day. Sure, it was stupid. But it led to me writing a pretty amusing Seinfeld spec script years later. Wanna see? You can download it by clicking here. It’s in PDF format. Okay, I gotta go to work. Who knows, maybe you’ll get more that two entries this week (don’t count on it).
Yeah, everything sucks, even suction cups.
What sucks more is links that don’t work.
Worked yesterday. Try it now.
I have a similar story from my youth. Except it was the plastic cover for an Atari 2600 joystick that I put on my forehead and pretended to be a mosquito or a unicorn.
I then forgot all about it. Later in the day, my mom saw a ring on my forehead. She thought I had ringworm and took me to the doctor. The doctors were puzzled and came up up with the most ridiculous theories. On the drive home I remembered the joystick and told my mother.
I seldom heard my mother laugh so loud. “Stupid doctors,” she said, “they think they know everything!”
Thanks for the script, very entertaining!
I forgot about those Atari joystick covers. Yeah, those had a lot of suction on them. I probably did the unicorn thing, too. Glad you liked the script, Xolo. Thanks for sharing.
My 15 yr old daughter is sporting one around her mouth. She doesn’t want to talk about it but she is trying to hide it with makeup!
Around her mouth? I guess that’s why they call it “sucking face.”
Dude, Smivey… I had a dream about this site last night… you posted a new entry to the effect of “hey guys, sorry about the break in posting, I’m back now” and it was awesome.
Thought you’d like to know.
lol lee.. wild dream. i wish more entries would be posted, this site is my life when i’m at work
I liked you so much and now I find out that you’re a Laker fan. I suppose it could be worse. You could be a Timberwolves fan. Then I’d have to kill you.
I found your blog through Orkut and let me tell you that one the funniest thing I’ve heard this week. It made me experience one of those lagh out loud at the “box” moments that makes my husband look at me funny. Excellent story, thanks for sharing :)
Just read the script. I laughed a lot–it is a very believable seinfeld episode. seriously fantastic.
(i suck at praise.)
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