An oversized head on a plastic body. How could this be any more funny? What’s that, you’re telling me the head bounces on a spring? That’s just too much! Oh, if only I could get one as a free gift with my Sports Illustrated subscription. That would make my day.

Ah, the air is thick with sarcasm today. Seriously, I remember bobble heads from the seventies. They were stupid then. They’re even more stupid now. Enough with the bobble heads, already. They suck.

For those of you who aren’t paying attention, I’ve decided to change the format of the site. Now, it’s not just people that suck. It’s everything. Sure, Everybody Sucks was a good concept, but it was too limiting. No matter what was pissing me off, it had to be attributed to some individual (see “Traffic-Blocking Left Turners”). Frankly, it was a pain in the ass. So, I’ve put the whole concept to rest. Is this a sign of the demise of the Sucks franchise? Sure looks like it. Does anyone give a shit? Not from what the page views tell me. Blah.

I don’t know how it is anywhere else in the country, but here in L.A., it’s way too easy to get a driver’s license. You just take a stupid written test, then drive around the block with some sweaty DMV employee. Next thing you know, you’re out on the street, creating havoc. Too easy. Driving is a privilege. Not a right.

I’m talking you assholes who swerve into oncoming traffic to avoid running over a pothole. You morons who insist on crossing a six-lane boulevard instead of driving to the intersection. You jackasses who slow down to a near stop to go over a minor dip in the road. You dickheads who insist on driving in the carpool lane, but don’t seem to be in a hurry. You imbeciles who drive a giant pick-up truck, but can’t seem to park it straight and don’t seem to give a shit that you can’t. You people shouldn’t be allowed to drive a car. Hell, I wouldn’t even trust you on a bicycle. But you’re idiots. You can’t help it. It’s not your fault. Driving-Test Givers, however, you suck.

The archives are back. So, go check ‘em out. Can’t see them? Be sure you’re using Internet Explorer. Most other browsers screw up my site, so all you see is one entry. Sad to say, that goes for Apple’s Safari browser too. Fuckers. So, you’re probably thinking, “Hey, smivey, what’s with the fucking rambling? Tell me who sucks, already.” Isn’t it obvious? I do. I’m too fucking busy to gripe about anyone right now. So leave me the fuck alone.