I’m not one to get involved with charities and activist groups. But there are some things that I simply can’t ignore. I’m referring to a particular brand of soap that’s been a household name for like hundreds of years—Ivory Soap.
Sure, there’s nothing like it when it comes to giving my skin that youthful glow. But no matter how great it makes me look and feel, it’s not worth the senseless slaughter of thousands of elephants. I mean, what sick individual came up with this idea? How can you feel clean after lathering up with something so horrific? Ivory Soap, 99% percent pure? More like 99% evil. Ivory Soap sucks.
Update: The fine folks at Procter & Gamble contacted me to clarify some things. Apparently, while the soap is indeed called “Ivory Soap,” it contains no actual ivory. So, I guess the elephants are safe. Never mind. I feel like 99% idiot.