Around 2 am, I got an anonymous message on my phone, which led to the following exchange:
XXX-XXXX: i want ur body
Me: Yeah? What would you do with it?
XXX-XXXX: whatvr u want
Me: Seriously?
XXX-XXXX: of course
Me: Like what?
XXX-XXXX: well this is an important decision i don’t want to make it 4 u
Me: What are you wearing?
XXX-XXXX: why does that matter
Me: I see your point. Well, what would you like me to do to you?
XXX-XXXX: do to me? im not following
Me: Sexually.
XXX-XXXX: GROSS
Me: what?
XXX-XXXX: ur sick
Me: You’re the one who said you want my body!
XXX-XXXX: 4 research! we want u to donate ur body to science
Me: Are you fucking kidding me?
XXX-XXXX: no
Me: This is an SMS solicitation?
XXX-XXXX: im merely txting people to c if they want to donate their bodies to science
Me: And I’m paying for these messages?
XXX-XXXX: yes
Me: And you’re OK with that?
XXX-XXXX: as long as im not paying for it
Me: But aren’t you?
XXX-XXXX: shit ur right
Me: So stop txting me!
XXX-XXXX: ok
Me: Thanks.
XXX-XXXX: no problm im touching myself
Me: What? Wait a minute.
XXX-XXXX: hm?
Me: Why are you touching yourself?
XXX-XXXX: i didn’t say i was touching myself
Me: Yes, you did.
XXX-XXXX: prove it
Me: I just replied to a message that said you’re touching myself.
XXX-XXXX: the lines must have been crossed
Me: That doesn’t happen with txt messages.
XXX-XXXX: sure it does
Me: No, it doesn’t.
XXX-XXXX: whatever can i pick ur brain
Me: What do you want to know?
XXX-XXXX: i just asked you
Me: And I said, what do you want to know.
XXX-XXXX: i want to pick your brain
Me: FOR?
XXX-XXXX: duh 4 medical research i want to dissect it
Me: ARGGHHHHHHHHH!
XXX-XXXX: so?
Me: Fine. Sure. Whatever. Just leave me alone.
XXX-XXXX: cool i’ll have someone sent over with the contract
Me: Good night.
And then I turned off my phone. About an hour later, my land-line phone rang. The call was coming from the intercom of my building. I didn’t answer it. Now I’m afraid to go outside.
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