Cutlery Corner

I’m in the process of working on another one of my epic short stories, so here’s something else to keep you entertained in the meantime. If you’ve ever been awake late at night, you might be familiar with Cutlery Corner. This is a home-shopping show dedicated to everything that cuts: scissors, knives, swords, nail clippers, etc. What’s funny is the absurdity of some of the products they sell, especially the giant swords. You’d think I was kidding, but this really exists. Check out that handle shaped like a skull and crossbones. Somewhere in middle America, a man has one of these displayed proudly on his wall.

tom.jpg I kid you not.

Comments 18

  1. boredhousewife wrote:

    Thanks, man.

    I’m assuming my sword-shaped package will be arriving later today…? (aw, crap, that sounds way dirtier than I intended.)

    Posted 19 Jun 2006 at 10:48 am
  2. Smivey wrote:

    Sorry, bhw, no such luck. They were sold out when I called.

    Posted 19 Jun 2006 at 12:38 pm
  3. seabendy wrote:

    I am also a huge fan of cutlery corner. My favorite part is the actual salesmanship of the cutlery. The host says the same thing every single time, whether he’s holding a 2-inch pocketknife or a 6-foot Lord of the Rings replica broadsword, “It’s perfect for hunters or collectors.”

    Yes, the curved, scorpion-encrusted cutlass is perfect for the average hunter.


    Posted 22 Jun 2006 at 12:21 pm
  4. Tcelano wrote:

    I have a sharpening busness, my niehgbor purchased a dealer set of knives from Cutlery Corner. These are some of the cheapest knives out there, I can’t even put a edge on them.

    Posted 02 Oct 2006 at 11:55 am
  5. C.S.D. wrote:

    I, personally, am an avid collector of anything skull or crossbone-like. I also have that sword in mint condition framed in glass hanging above my bed frame. One of my many proud, skullish, prized possessions.

    Posted 30 Nov 2006 at 4:39 pm
  6. C.S.D. wrote:

    Be jealous.

    Posted 30 Nov 2006 at 4:40 pm
  7. Smivey wrote:

    Oh, is that what my reaction was supposed to be? Because at first I was thinking “run away! run away!”

    Posted 30 Nov 2006 at 4:48 pm
  8. C.S.D. wrote:


    Posted 30 Nov 2006 at 4:53 pm
  9. Smivey wrote:

    I just hope there aren’t any earthquakes in the near future. Because if the glass doesn’t get you, the precision-steel sword certainly will. (And then I would be sad.)

    Posted 30 Nov 2006 at 4:55 pm
  10. C.S.D. wrote:

    It’s shatterproof. Only the best for my skull & crossbone swordS.

    Posted 30 Nov 2006 at 5:00 pm
  11. Smivey wrote:

    Ahhhh of course, you have the entire series.

    Posted 30 Nov 2006 at 5:16 pm
  12. mike wrote:

    so what your saying is, my shipment of $200 is not worth retail of $2,000 retail..???

    say it aint so smivey.. say it aint so smivey

    Posted 09 Jan 2007 at 9:06 pm
  13. Smivey wrote:

    Uhhh it isn’t so. You can always find another sucker. . . I mean, buyer.

    Posted 09 Jan 2007 at 9:41 pm
  14. production tech for cutlery corner wrote:

    tell me about it, the dealer sets are crap. well, 80% of the sets are. trust me, I hear the pitches in my dreams. “nightmares” over and over again.

    Posted 26 Sep 2007 at 11:17 pm
  15. Smivey wrote:

    Production tech, eh?

    Wow. That must be an exciting job. With so many knives on the set, how do you stop from slitting your wrists?

    Posted 27 Sep 2007 at 5:39 am
  16. Evan Beatty wrote:

    well i don’t know yet i’ve watched and noticed the salesmanship, and the product,
    so to i guess the 28.80 that i have stuck in a slot machine and didn’t worry about can’t be any worst. so it doesn’t take sharp to clean a cat fish or cut fire wood on a camp sight so can’t be too bad,
    anyway i enjoy watching, even get to see the cute little lady , cute smile, it is america , get ur done,

    Posted 20 Oct 2007 at 2:05 pm
  17. dmarrso wrote:

    I have purchased a number of knives and 2 swords from Cutlery Corner.

    The “folders” I would steer clear of. The steel and frames are largely low quality, although I have seen some improvements over the lat 2 years or so.

    The pocket knives, especially the Ocee River and Steel Warrior lines, have very good stell and well-constructed frames.

    The better fixed blades knives have leather cases.

    I have given a numbers of these knives as gifts and the hold a edge.

    Don’t buy the big deal collections with the mix of cheap folders.

    Don’t buy swords of stainless steel , it is to brittle for a sword.

    Posted 22 Oct 2011 at 9:09 am
  18. Smivey wrote:

    Thank you, dmarrso. I was going to make a joke about you not knowing where to comment properly, but then I realised comments were somehow turned off for this post. I turned them back on and moved your comment to its proper place, without you permission, of course. Also, I would be a fool to poke fun at someone who owns so many knives. Have a good day. Let me know if I’ve offended you in any way before you come over here with a katana sword or something.

    Posted 22 Oct 2011 at 9:13 am

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