Well, things have been going great for my blog. My hits have skyrocketed from a measly 25 a day to a whopping 28! Which means, it’s time to start talking to advertisers. Please take a moment to read what these guys have to say. I’ve never used their product, but it’s helping me remodel my kitchen. Thanks.

This is an advertisement and is in no way associated with, or endorsed by, Smivey, Smivey Inc., Smivey LLC, or any other made-up company names.

Hey there. Have you ever felt a little tickle at the bottom of your foot that never seemed to go away? You try to itch it with a slice of cheese or rub it against a piece of stryofoamâ„¢, but it doesn’t seem to help. If this sounds familiar, you may be suffering from a horrible disease called footitchiness.

Footichiness can strike at any time, without warning, which makes it really scary. I mean, really, you could be anywhere: at the movies, sitting at your desk, sitting on your couch–actually, it always seems to happen when you’re sitting. Why is that? Hm.

But it really doesn’t matter. Because now there’s Podiarrest. With Podiarrest, you can say goodbye to those horrible moments of itchy feet and say hello to life. Just take two Podiarrest tablets exactly five minutes before each meal, followed by 1/4 of a tablet with a cup of unpasteurized goat-milk. After that, you can go about your normal routine, providing it does not involve walking.

Should you accidentally take your first two tablets a bit too early or a few minutes too late, do not be concerned. A mild throat irritation may occur. Swallow one gallon of water immediately and avoid urinating for 24 hours.

As with any drug, side effects are inevitable. These may include, but are not limited to: a shortness of breath, mild painful diarrhea, genital acne, eye bulging, tooth loss and excessive nose-hair growth.

But these side effects are rare and only occur in 4 out of 5 patients. So kick off your shoes and start enjoying life again. Ask your doctor about Podiarrest today. Because even though they went to medical school, only you know what’s best for you.