Skip to content

Why I Hate This Fucking City

I spent my afternoon in Seal Beach celebrating my friend’s daughter’s birthday. Mind you, it’s not a short drive from Seal Beach to Hollywood, especially when there’s traffic. And, yes, there was traffic. Tons of fucking traffic. I was dying in the traffic. My ass was starting to get sore from lack of circulation. I couldn’t wait until I got home.

But when I got home, I had a surprise waiting for me: Someone was parked in my parking space. They just backed their car in there as if they paid the rent. Only they didn’t pay the rent. I pay the rent. Because it’s my fucking space!

That just meant I had to park in the guest parking. But, of course, the guest parking was full. Which meant I had to park on the street somewhere.

Have I mentioned before how fucking popular my street is? Every goddamn person from Eagle Rock to Culver City drives up here to walk their fucking dogs. In other words, it’s impossible to find a parking space. Impossible. I drove around for a good twenty minutes trying to find a place to park. I ended up parking six blocks away. Six blocks!

If you haven’t guessed by now, I was pretty irate at that point. I vowed revenge. I wouldn’t damage their car, but I would make sure that it got towed the fuck out of my space.

But, of course, when I finally got home and went downstairs to write down the information on the vehicle, it was gone. Gone! FUCKING GONE! AGGGGRHHHHHHH!!! If I was ever going to have an aneurism in my life, I would have had one then. So there’s your fucking silver lining.

6 Comments