I was driving down the road, exceeding the speed limit, when my progress was suddenly retarded. The car in front of me was travelling at an excruciatingly slow pace. And when I say slow, I mean slowwwwww. I wasn’t even sure this vehicle was actually moving. But by using the parked cars on the side of the road as a measure of speed, I was able to determine the velocity of the vehicle at somewhere between .18 and 2 MPH.
As a concerned citizen, I immediately wanted to know what might be troubling this driver, and I expressed this by exclaiming, “What the fuck’s your problem?” That’s when I noticed a familar permanently-seated stick figure hanging from her rearview mirror: the handicapped parking pass.
Well, that explained it. Or did it? I mean, let’s say this person actually was handicapped. Does that give her the right to drive like a moron? Don’t handicapped people have to take a driving test like everybody else?
Come to think of it, what does the handicapped parking pass really mean? Is it just for people who can’t walk very well? This one seemed to be for someone who couldn’t drive. Either that or she was mentally handicapped.
Then I started to wonder about how she became handicapped. Was she born that way? Was it a tragic rollerblading incident? Did she defer on her loan payments to Louie “Meat Cleaver” Vinzini? Or pehaps her life was changed in a more obvious way: by driving like an idiot.
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