Unprotected Sex

Have you heard about all this unprotected sex stuff? Frankly, I’m a little disturbed by it. I mean, your sex is made up of some pretty delicate material. You should really take better care of it.

That’s why I always protect my sex. I wear a cup. All the time. And I stuff it with cotton. Gotta protect the boys. I mean, what if someone walked up to me and punched me in the nuts? I’d be ready. Would you? Not if your sex was unprotected, you wouldn’t.

The cup I used to wear was plastic. But then I started to think: What if a rabid dog attacked me and chewed off my manhood? Exactly. So now I wear a steel cup. Sure, it’s a little less comfortable. But it’s a small price to pay for a well-protected sex.

I admit, back when I didn’t know any better, I had an unprotected sex. Nothing but a couple of layers of material protecting me from sudden castration. Fortunately, I managed to avoid any real danger. But I can’t believe how naive I was.

All it takes is one kid running with scissors. One fastball thrown a little too low. A runaway power saw. A miscalculated hurdle jump. A run in with an angry midget. Yeah, I think I’ve made my point. Keep that sex protected, people. You’ve only got one. Well, okay, most of us only have one.

Comments 4

  1. kris wrote:

    one testicle?

    Posted 02 Jul 2004 at 9:05 pm
  2. boredhousewife wrote:

    smart man.

    Posted 02 Jul 2004 at 9:48 pm
  3. smivey wrote:

    I remember waking up yesterday thinking this was a pretty funny idea. Maybe it’s just another bad symptom of the cold I’m fighting off right now.

    Posted 03 Jul 2004 at 3:35 pm
  4. boredhousewife wrote:

    are you kidding??? it was hilarious!!!

    Posted 03 Jul 2004 at 4:37 pm

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