Zero Calories. Zero Fat. Zero Carbs.

I’ve just discovered the most amazing food product ever created: The Trader Joe’s Egg-White Broccoli Cheddar Quiche. As you might assume, using egg whites instead of whole eggs in this flaky-crusted entree helps lower its fat content and cholesterol levels significantly. But it doesn’t lower the taste.

Unfortunately, it’s not a very good taste. Actually, it’s extremely foul. So foul, in fact, that I spat out the small portion I placed into my mouth seconds after it made its entrance. It didn’t taste so much like quiche as it did a sweaty sock. Fortunately, since I did not actually digest any of this so-called food, it didn’t cost me any Weight Watchers points or interfere with my Pritikin, Atkins and Zone diets.

For years, manufacturers of diet foods have been trying to make their food taste better, which only makes people want to eat more of it. But Trader Joe came up with a much better solution: Make the food taste like shit. Here’s to you, Trader Joe, a culinary pioneer.

Comments 9

  1. boredhousewife wrote:

    i like that theory. if everything tasted like shit, i would eat enough less of it to only be marginally annoyed wtih my overindulgences….

    Posted 08 Jun 2004 at 6:52 pm
  2. Edith wrote:

    Thanks for the entree warning. I usually like Trader Joes stuff.

    I am actually cooking these days, so I just pick up their frozen vegies in that aisle, trying to ignore all the chocolate and cookies dripping off the shelf above.

    Posted 08 Jun 2004 at 7:23 pm
  3. Smivey wrote:

    Always happy to be of service, ladies.

    Posted 08 Jun 2004 at 10:32 pm
  4. Juliet wrote:

    Thank you.

    I stepped outside tonight and there was a white lexus parked next to my driveway.
    I had to check the license plates.

    (feel free to edit or delete this, based on the possible creepiness factor)

    Posted 11 Jun 2004 at 6:50 am
  5. smivey wrote:

    The creepinees factor is heightened due to the fact that this comment has absolutely nothing to do with my current post. And what license plate number were you looking for exactly?

    Posted 11 Jun 2004 at 2:16 pm
  6. Edith wrote:

    Aww, so sweet, young obsession.

    Posted 11 Jun 2004 at 2:50 pm
  7. Smivey wrote:

    To help you girls out with the stalking, my car is silver, not white.

    Posted 11 Jun 2004 at 5:48 pm
  8. boredhousewife wrote:

    dammit.
    can you help me figure out who that guy is i’ve been following around all year??
    crap.

    Posted 11 Jun 2004 at 6:52 pm
  9. Edith wrote:

    Acktually, I’ll rant about Trader Joes cornbread (mix), which my son loves.

    It is too sweet, which is why Ian likes it, so I won’t hold that against it. HOWEVER, I really object to the little dried kernels in the stuff. As you pour out the mix, you see these little shriveled up corn pieces go by, and you wonder “What the . . . Well, maybe they’ll get soft.”

    But they don’t hydrate during mixing or baking, and you end up with random chewy crap in otherwise crumbly cornbread. Whatever posessed them?

    Anyway.

    Posted 11 Jun 2004 at 8:46 pm

Post a Comment

Your email is never published nor shared. Required fields are marked *