I was starting at my face in the mirror the other day when I noticed this lone hair poking out of my forehead Really. It was nowhere near my actual hairline. And it was at least a quarter-inch long. So I started thinking:
Is this just a stray hair or the last sign of my original hairline? I’ve been told before that I have a big forehead. Was it always like this? Or am I losing my hair so gradually that I never even noticed it? Why didn’t anybody tell me? How much farther back is my hairline going to recede? Will I look like Ron Howard in a few years?
I checked my 1980 Junior High School yearbook for a reference point. No sign of the receding hairline. But then again, I had bangs. God, I looked like such a dork. Why didn’t anybody tell me? I suppose getting my ass kicked constantly after school should’ve been a hint.
That’s when it dawned on me: Maybe I was overreacting a bit. It was, after all, just a tiny hair. There are people in this world with real problems. At that moment, I made a pact to stop worrying about trivial things.
I took my electric razor out and quickly removed the offending whisker. My forehead was hair-free once again. I smiled at myself in the mirror. I really didn’t look that bad.
Then I saw something that quickly changed my mind: a lone hair growing out of the side of my ear. And this baby was a good half-inch long! Fuck! Why the hell didn’t anybody tell me?
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