A couple weeks ago, I was wandering around the local drugstore when I came upon an aisle devoted to Halloween candy and costumes. “A little early for Halloween,” I thought to myself, as I made my way over to the next aisle.
That’s when I saw them: Christmas lights. Boxes and boxes of them. They even had a selection of cards, for those compulsive people who just can’t start getting ready early enough. Granted, it was all located towards the back of the store. But it was still there.
I just need someone to explain to me why we need to have all the Christmas decorations out so damn early. What about poor, neglected Thanksgiving? There’s a whole untapped market there. I see cardboard pilgrim party hats and Cadbury turkey eggs. Plymouth Rock candy and chocolate peace pipes. Hell, we could even have a parade with giant balloons and a…no, no, that’s just too insane. Holiday Hucksters suck.
But Smivey, you could go to Harriet Carter & get a Holiday Dog & get into the swim with the rest of…ehh, who the fuck am I kidding.
My favorite time of year to go into the Rong Aid by my house is summer, about a week after the 4th of July, because they just don’t know what the hell to put up in those 3 aisles by the cash registers. Sometimes they’ll put out some Coppertone but it’s mostly folks of color in my neighborhood so there’s not much demand for it.
I don’t know what it says about my character & attitude towards commercialism but my favorite X-mess song is “Christmas Time is Here” from the Charlie Brown special. It’s purdy.
Did your drugstore have that huge blow-up snowman? Because no matter what the season, we could all use one of those, you know.
Mango, yes, that Charlie Brown song “Christmas Time Is Here” is pretty nice. Much better than the Chipmunks song of the same name.
Cat, I don’t think you understand. The Blow-Up Snowman is not anatomically correct.
You obviously don’t have children; they love that stuff no matter what time of year.
Bah…Humbug!!!
Is it that obvious I don’t have children? There goes my online persona.
No not really, are you hiding some in the linen closet?
You are SO wrong for getting Christmas songs stuck in my head…in OCTOBER.
Glovia, no I’m not hiding them in the linen closet. That would be cruel. They’re tied up in their rooms. Better go check on them.
Heather, I hate the Christmas tunes in October, too. Heck, I’m Jewish. Kinda sorta.
Smiv, I need a photo of your nose for verification.
Glovia, to verify if I’m lying, or if I’m Jewish?
That’s HI-LAR-IOUS!
You win Smiv. That was the funniest thing you’ve ever said. I would send you naked photos for that.
Naked photos? Anatomically correct snowmen? What kind of blog are you running here, man?!
A very sexy one, Cat. Incidentally, I’ve yet to receive naked photos from you. Are you not aware of the rules? Very impressive, by the way, Glovia. Excellent lighting and an A+ for creativity.
Maybe Cat really is the cat in the pics on her ‘blog, in which case, we’ve all seen naked pics of her, to say nothing of how impressive the idea is that there’s a cat who knows how to use a computer, and relatively well at that, if her ‘blog is any indication. Dry humor today, folks. Dry, wordy humor.
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