Soft focus. A seven-year-old boy plays on a swing in slow motion, a big smile on his face. Dissolve to a six-and-a-half-year-old girl with an even bigger grin on her face, holding her mommy’s hand at the mall, a perfect angel. A gentle voice speaks to us as we continue to see scenes of well-behaved children from this parallel universe: “Disruptive behavior. Hyperactivity. For years, we just accepted these symptoms as normal adolescent behavior. But now we know better. Chances are, your child is suffering from a horrible disease called A.D.H.D., Attention Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder. Fortunately, there’s now hope. You no longer have to lace their brownies with marijuana. You can now medicate your child legally with a miraculous drug called Strattera. Yes, before you know it, your child will be as gentle as a baby lamb, and twice as quiet. Side effects are mild, and may include upset stomach, decreased appetite, nausea and vomiting, dizziness, tiredness and mood swings. But isn’t that a small price to pay for happy, healthy child?” Side Effects suck.