Thanks to fashion magazines and other inane forms of media, girls today grow up believing the ideal woman should look like Pamela Anderson (post surgery).They think men only fantasize about buxom blondes. And for the most part, they’re right. So, if you want to be a stripper, work at Hooters or be a porn star, by all means, save up your cash and get that tit job. You can look forward to a life of fucking low-life rock stars and being passed around like a rusty heroin needle. Hey, who knows, you might even get lucky and become a trophy wife.

Now, me, I must be insane. I prefer the natural breasts, soft, pliable and warm to the touch. Be they small and conical or big and round, they’re almost always perfectly proportional to the woman they’re attached to, with that natural bounce that modern science just can’t seem to replicate.

Of course, there are situations where going under the knife makes perfect sense. Like when a petite flower is “over blessed” with too much up front and her spine is suffering for it. Or when a woman wins the battle with cancer but ends up losing a breast in the process. Then it makes perfect sense to consult a surgeon and see what can be done to remedy the problem. But when your health is fine, and you’re just upset because you can’t fill up a T-shirt like your girlfriends can, you don’t need a plastic surgeon, darlin’, you need a shrink. Unnecessary Implants suck.