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July-30-03

All You Can Eat

posted by Smivey

As if the popularity of the Olive Garden wasn’t proof enough that the majority of Americans are idiots, the demand for the all-you-can-eat meal dispels any doubts. Pay just a few extra dollars and you can stuff yourself silly with soup, salad, breadsticks and more. That’s right, pound it down until it’s coming out your ass like some kind of human Play-Doh Fun Factory. Of course, most of us only have an hour for lunch. Which means, you’ve gotta eat fast. Bite and swallow. Bite and swallow. There’s no time for chewing. Just take a swig from that liter of iced tea and wash it down. More salad! More breadsticks! More soup! Goddamit, you’re not leaving until you’ve eaten your seven dollars’ worth! Yeah, right. Unless you’re morbidly obese, that’s not likely to happen. All You Can Eat sucks.

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Comments (10)
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  1. Glovia Said,

    Isn’t it interesting that the man who won that famous hot dog eating contest was a very tiny man.

  2. Lani Said,

    ass?

  3. Lani Said,

    Oh i was right! I thought you didn’t want to say ass in your post. But I see that there is more that you’ve written. Silly me.

    I went to the Olive Garden…hmmm two times. I enjoyed it,but found that people couldn’t stand the olive garden. I didn’t know why so many ppl hated it. And then I remembered the bread. Oh the joy it brought me. But by the end of my lunch, it was 40 bucks for two of us and I was stuffed. I tried it for a second time and the same. So I stopped going there. But sometimes I do dream of the soft bread. The many people at the resturant. The friendly waiters. The pasta.

  4. Smivey Said,

    I’ve been to Olive Garden a few times, but it wasn’t my choice. I think everything there is so Americanized. Far from authentic.

  5. Norton Said,

    Okay, here I agree with you. Olive Garden sucks.

  6. Smivey Said,

    Well, thank you. I noticed two stupid errors in that post after rereading it. They are now fixed… I think.

  7. Norton Said,

    All-you-can-eat-crap and people who think super salty = taste and flavor suck too. No wonder we are the fattest and most idiotic blah, blah, blah… wow I’m beginning to understand your pessimism.

  8. Smivey Said,

    Well, you are reading the rants. If you notice, for a while, I wrote a new rant every day. I had to stop because it was making me a grumpy old man.

  9. Norton Said,

    So where are you happy thoughts?

  10. Smivey Said,

    Well, there are always the stories:

    http://www.smiveysucks.com/archives/406

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