I admit it. I’m a bit of a geek. I like to have the latest electronic devices. The only problem is, three months later, there’s always something better. It’s lighter. It’s thinner. And of course, it’s so much faster. Basically, it makes whatever I own look like a worthless piece of shit.
Don’t get me wrong. I’m all for the advancement of microtechnology. But let’s be reasonable. I think that behind those secure walls of the world’s greatest electronics companies, there’s a vault the size of maybe eighteen football fields. And in that vault, are innovations that would blow your mind. The conversations inside might go something like this:
“So, what do we give ‘em now?”
“How ’bout the levitation shoes?”
“Are you kidding? Their primitive minds wouldn’t be able to handle it.”
“Color cell phones?”
“I like it. With the video or without?”
“You’re joking, right?”
“Yeah. Fuck ‘em. They’ll probably cream their pants over the stupid camera phone feature.”
(insert sinister laugh here)
Planned Obsolescence sucks (and so does typing “obsolescence.” Jeeze.)
Can someone please explain why a camera phone??
Until then…camera phones suck
Because with a camera phone, you can, well, take pictures…so that you can, uh, send them to people, and then they can, uh, well, okay, I might need some more time on this one. BTW, my phone does not have the camera feature. And, yes, they were available when I bought it.
I have the oldskool, creamed-spinach-color LCD type of cellphone. It has one game: Brickshooter. I have to be very, very, very bored & be stuck with absolutely nothing to do to play Brickshooter. I bought it around the time the phones with color screens came out.
When the Sony Playstation One came out, I went down to FunCoLand and bought a Sega Genesis and an assload of games for around 20 bucks.
I bought some Magic: The Gathering cards and put a few decent decks together, about 2 years after the craze surrounding it died down. I have never spent more than a dollar on thos stupid fucking things at any one time.
When they came out with DVD players, I started going down to the video store with a $20.00 bill, and came out with 4-5 pre-owned movies on VHS.
For a cheap motherfucker scrub like me, there’s always an upside to this planned obsolesence business.
Now if you’ll excuse me, it’s time for a 40oz. of Milwakuee’s Best…..Ice.
Damn. Settling for less seems to have its perks. Wish I could. I suck.
Women are annoyed when you pay more attention to your gadgets than to us. Especially when you asked me out, asshead!
Some people find better uses for technology these days, like USB cup warmers…
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